Ecofeminism

Sex and nature sell—perfume, vehicles, cigarettes.   Janine DeBaise opened the discussion of Ecofemisim with a file of collected magazine clippings.  Most of the skin shown was that of women (although we did see one advertisement featuring a scantily clad man).  We found two extremes:  a video console ad that claimed “there is a beautiful naked women” under game screenshots strategically placed over portions of her body, and a Maidenform ad with photos of a baby chicken, a doll, a tomato and a fox, and text that reads "While the images used to describe women are simple and obvious, women themselves rarely are."  4WD vehicles were shown in places vehicles really shouldn’t be (wilderness areas, far off-road, mostly with solitary men conquering nature). These wilderness areas were also the backdrop of many of the perfume ads—“perhaps to make them seem more natural?” we asked.  High heels seemed out of place in some of the ads, too, but perhaps not more so than the rest of the attire featured (particularly one set in the desert where the models donned only their skivvies and heels.)

It’s been a while since Janine sorted through the file, and she expected many ads to be dated—but the only ones that seemed to be were the Marlboro men, rugged, solitary characters whose product simply doesn’t get advertised in the same venue anymore.  How does this compare to the ads we see on television today?  Do any cleaning products commercials feature men?  Not really—its women doing the cleaning, using sprays and candles to make their houses smell homier.  Sex still sells:   a new line of lingerie offers to increase bust size by 2 cups!   At least we haven’t seen bikini-clad beer bimbos lately, and women are much more likely to be portrayed as Moms than as vacuous or a shrew—although those ads still do make an appearance.  We also contrasted the happy, carefree models wearing pajamas to the severe expressions on the lingerie models.  To us, this said:  pajamas are comfortable; that lingerie, perhaps not.  Be comfortable, be happy.  Probably not the message some of the advertisers hoped we’d take home.

Surviving Grad School 101: Balancing Work and Family

Rosemary O'Leary began the discussion with her own background:  her mother started work on a PhD once her youngest child started school.  She also shared her challenge of finding good job opportunities for her and her husband (an economist, also with the Maxwell School) where both of them were wanted, and then raising their daughter (and a child from a previous marriage) with two busy research careers. 

 

What works for them:  They arrange their class schedules on opposite days, so the one not teaching can prepare dinner, chauffer, chaperone, etc., split household duties, and they renegotiate when this ceases to work.

Daughter has been to many meetings and defenses.  Rosemary reserves an hour a day for herself which she spends in the gym (similarly, one of the participants learned to play an instrument); she firmly believes that this helps her be better at everything else, and that its a good model for her daughter.  She doesn't go to all the meetings she would like--sometimes its Larry's turn. Ask for help.  The waiting list for the daycare at her previous institution was 150 families long; they called weekly to check.  She suspects they just got tired of the phone calls and moved her to the top.

 

Specific questions:  How did you survive the time between when your daughter was 10 and 14?  Rosemary shared her remembrance that she had personally loved when her mom had asked her opinion, and the realization that this was true for her own daughter.   Between homework and extracurricular activities and sleep, do kids even do chores anymore?  Time crunched moms often find it more expedient to do it themselves rather than supervising or taking time to teach to do task correctly.  But this ends up a disservice to both.  Rotate responsibilities, and accept that things won't necessarily be done as well for now. When Rosemary was a child,  there were 7 rotating tasks, including "the expediter" who made sure all the other tasks were completed.

 

She asked participants about their particular struggles:  time, staying upbeat, a little time in the gym to keep sane, getting kids through it, too.

 

Two of the participants took the same route as Rosemary's mom, and are now pursuing degrees.  Other successful strategies:  ditch unsupportive spouse (especially if abusive), move into a smaller place with easier upkeep and less opportunities for mooching by adult children. Some solutions don't work for everyone:  Theoretically we could "farm out" cooking and cleaning, but not on most student budgets!  This discussion was facilitated by Rosemary O'Leary, Distinguished Professor of Public Administration; Distinguished Professor and Phanstiel Chair in Strategic Management and Leadership; Co-Director, Program for the Analysis and Resolution of Conflict; and Senior Research Associate in both the Campbell Public Affairs Institute and Center for Environmental Policy and Administration at Syracuse University.  It was co-sponsored by the Graduate Student Association as part of their yearlong series Surviving Grad School 101.

Advancing Ecology: Why (cultural) diversity matters

Dr. Robin Kimmerer (EFB) was the featured speaker at ESA's 2005 Diversity in Ecology Luncheon. She shared portions of her presentation and facilitated a discussion on why science institutions should change to take advantage of everyone's contributions, including those bestowed by membership in one or more cultural group, rather than continue to try to "fix" students into a one-size fits all mold.  Particularly striking were her own revelation that she almost didn't become an ecologist, her realization about 4 years into her first academic appointment that traditional knowledge could indeed by taught alongside the processes of botany, and true stories of students "with some otherness about them" that encountered obstacles related to culture, rather than their ability to "do science."   She reminded us that "we each have gifts and responsibly to bring them to the table," sort of like a potluck supper.  For a potluck supper to work, each person must bring a contribution, but also partake of everyone else's.  "But imagine that you have brought your specialty, and it is both delicious and nutritious, but no one will taste it.  Your dish keeps getting pushed farther and farther back on the table.  What would you do?  Pretend that you don't like it either?  Leave without mention? Or resolve that next time, you will bring macaroni and cheese, just like everyone else?" In the conversation that ensured, we noted that we don't want to rid the table of the mac and cheese, but that those who take comfort in it might enjoy expanding their palates to appreciate the other flavors and textures offered at the table.  If this seems too drastic a step, it may help to remember that often the same basic ingredients are used, but arecombined in different ways.  "After all, it's all science."

Take Back Your Holiday!

Jo Anne Ellis reminded me before the potluck supper that:

 

One way of taking back the holidays, or your sanity during same, is to divert the focus from the commercialism and "we've always done it this way, the family expects it" to trying to understand and meet the needs of others.

 

We came to this conclusion as well:  Reduce your gift giving obligations, and select or make "cheap but meaningful" gifts for those you choose to give to.  Consumable gifts are wonderful--homemade or purchased.  You don't need to find a place for them, they fit people of almost every size, and best of all, require no dusting! 

I give my nieces and nephews inexpensive bound unlined books with crayons, colored pencils, or paints, depending on their ages--I often personalize the covers so they can tell them apart.  Janine's children and their cousins prepare and videotape a skit every year as a gift to their parents and grandparents--2 years ago, inspired by the TLC program "While you were out" they gathered to redecorate their grandparents enclosed back porch and videotaped the event.  Its become a holiday tradition that they watch some of the older tapes as well as the new and admire how the kids have grown.  Children also give the priceless gift of chore coupons.  Grandparents that are reluctant to ask for help find it easier to cash them in for various projects around the house.  One Sharon's large immediate family selects names from a hat, so each person is responsible for only one gift; the other Sharon's immediate family makes donations in each other's name to favorite charities.  They distribute the names of their top three choices, and siblings choose amongst the three.  She notes that the contributions can add up, but they significantly reduce the stress of selecting just the right thing. And there really is no shame in asking:  my father-in-law distributes his letter to Santa with a list of inexpensive tools that he could use if received. 

Further gift thoughts from Jo Anne:

 

A "muchness" of something is impressive and often isn't expensive.  My mother-in-law mentioned recently that she wanted to replace her spices, which pre-dated the move to her current apt. 5 years ago.  A trip to Northway Discount Foods and a dollar store (including a buck for a wastebasket to pack them in) did the trick for her recent birthday, and she was delighted.

 

In past years, I've given her assortments of canned soups (upscale brands or unusual flavors she probably would never buy for herself), a variety of flavors of spaghetti sauce and different flavors/shapes of pasta,  a basket of one-pot packs of flavored coffee, etc.  (Can you tell I hate malls??  I can do most of my shopping at the grocery store!)  Gift shops are a great place to get ideas for basket assortments--then look at the price tags and buy your own goodies!  Assortments are easy to replicate too, if you need a lot of presents--gift bags are the easiest way to stuff them, if you're arrangement-impaired like me.

 

For elderly recipients, especially, consumables (edible or otherwise) are often better than "stuff."  When we cleaned out my mother's house, we found stacks of gift sweaters, bathrobes, jewelry, etc., still in their boxes.  On the other hand, the gallon of her favorite laundry detergent (of which she usually bought the smallest size) I gave her for her birthday was gone!  Stamps (especially in a theme geared to the recipient), phone cards, gas gift cards, gift certificates to restaurants or fast-food places--you're giving someone convenience, and you don't have to wrestle with wrapping paper--just stick them into cards!  
And a timely reminder from the Employee Assistance Program (12/15/2006):

It’s that time of year again – when we have to give ourselves permission to be imperfect – in advance.  We aren’t going to have the Better Homes & Gardens Christmas no matter how hard we try – so let’s accept it right now and not feel guilty of “Failing” later on.

Some suggestions for a hassle-free holiday season: 

1. Lower your expectations.  Learn to live and laugh with broken cookies, lopsided trees and cards received that weren’t sent.

2. Lower your housekeeping standards.  Closets exist to hide clutter replaced by seasonal paraphernalia.  Let’s use them.  Learn to live with the messier bathrooms that accompany returning college students and visiting family.

3. Do away with money worries.  Rule of thumb:  either enjoy spending it or don’t spend it.  Don’t fall into that trap of over-spending and then resenting it.

4. Don’t worry about spending the exact amount on every child.  They only complain when they sense you’re feeling guilty.  If they do complain, give them ‘The Look”.  If that doesn’t work, give them the “The Talk” about giving.

5. Don’t – repeat – DON’T feel guilty about not having a gift for an unexpected giver. Send them a Valentine cake.

6. Eat what you cook or don’t cook it.  Why make others feel guilty by baking rich foods and then watching them with incriminating eyes as they enjoy it while you munch celery?  If you’re going to feel guilty because of holiday eating, go ahead and eat because you’re going to feel guilty anyway.

7. Enjoy – don’t endure – the holidays.  Anything that infringes on enjoyment should be questioned.  Pray, laugh, and share good times together – including memories of pleasant hassle-free time in the family.

EAP Committee: Leslie Rutknowski (Coordinator), Tom Slocum (Chair), Mark Hill, Teri, Frese,Linda Stubbs, Dave Soderberg, Barb Nelson,Shirley Wilbur, Al Wilczek, Pete DeMola

Balancing work and… (Social life, family, personal time, sleep….)

Undergrads, graduate students, faculty and staff met over dinner to discuss what we'd like to spend more time on, less time on, and any suggestions we have that have helped us do so.  Here are a sampling (not necessarily in the order that they were discussed):

1.  Prioritize, and lower your standards on items that don't really matter (like the punctuation in this email!)

2.  Cultivate good relationships with the office people, and those in the know in the dining halls.  They are the ones who know procedures, shortcuts, how to process which paperwork and in what order it needs to be done.  And, in an emergency, they are the ones who know how to bail you out.

3.  Try to set aside some cookies in the freezer--then you can bring a variety the next time you need to bring something somewhere.

4.  Laundry is overrated--if its not really dirty, don't wash it yet.  But find a way to keep it out of the clean pile so it doesn't get forgotten.

5.  If you don't know where to go, ask someone rather than getting bogged down with it.

6.  Don't feel bad about not going to the gym when you'd really rather be getting your exercise out of doors.

7.  Find people to do things with.  Our little lists made us realize most of us want to be more physically active, several would like to dance more, and there is an African Dance class on Wednesdays at the Westcott community Center. This kind of builds on a pre-dinner discussion:  some of us knit, others would like to learn--we foresee some lessons in the future. 

8. Pleasure reading:  Book clubs have merit, but require you to have read a specific book or portion thereof in a specific amount of time.  Instead, get recommendations of books that friends have enjoyed, and put aside 15-20 minutes at the end of the day.

9.  Find a (or several) delivery place.  Because so many of us are already overtasked, we planned that those who could would bring something to contribute, and those that couldn't would bring a few dollars.  We pooled the funds and ended up with an almost complete meal, and some nice discussion with some folks we wouldn't otherwise have had the opportunity to meet. 

We did get a little off the track of the balancing theme later in the discussion, but since some of us wanted to spend more time with friends old and new, maybe that's not such a bad thing.

This potluck supper was coordinated by the Graduate Student Association and the ESF Women’s Caucus.

Game night!

Are board games gender neutral?  We divied up a pack of trivia cards from a popular board game, and based on first impression of the question and answer, divided them into piles:  feminine, masculine, neither, need closer look.  We discussed the final category, and added these cards to the rest of the piles.  The masculine pile was the largest at the end of the evening.

Support for working Families

Imagine what you could do if you had 9 more weeks a year to do what you wanted/needed to do.   Take Back Your Time Day is  "a nationwide initiative to challenge the epidemic of overwork, over-scheduling and time famine that now threatens our health, our families and relationships, our communities and our environment."   The date is nine weeks before the end of the year, representing the 360 hours more each year that workers in the U.S. put in on average than Western Europeans do.  Nine weeks! This is part of campus Take Back your Time Day Teach-in.  Visit www.timeday.org to hear about the National effort. For more information,  read www.prospect.org/print/v12/1/gornick-j.html. 

Balancing work and family

Ironically, family issues kept a number of interested parties away last night, so I have summarized our discussion. and have provided a preview of the October program (Thurs. Oct. 23, 5-7 pm, Nifkin Lounge, family friendly potluck supper!)

So, what does it take to balance work and family?  Participants reported:  organization, flexible scheduling, a sense of humor, family planning, reliable child care, a supportive partner, and good friends or family with whom you can share some adult conversation while the kids play (which we witnessed first hand, as our three youngest participants alternately colored quietly and ran laps around the Lounge!).  We also noted the trend of parents waiting longer to start families, both here and abroad, and touched on the continuing trend of teen parents, and speculated on the class and educational differences between the two groups.

The discussion focused most heavily on social support of child-rearing, which is much advanced in Scandinavian countries, just starting in Korea where birth rates have been declining, and actually somewhat ahead of the US.  The Korean system permits a small stipend for parental leave during the first year (currently about 20% of the average salary); only 78 dads took advantage of the program last year while thousands of moms used their maternity leave.  The next version of this policy looks toward making the leave a percentage of income rather than a flat rate.  In the US, the leave permitted by the Family Leave Act is unpaid, and thus is only really available to those of higher income.  European models are far more family-friendly and either support parental (maternal or paternal, often the family's decision) care for children during their first year or longer or adequately funded daycare facilities until children reach school-age. 
 

We'd like to thank Heejae Kim, who took the time to look up the statistics of the new Korean programs and the Sadler Memorial Garden Committee for letting us scavenge for produce for the potluck.  As a result of your generosity and JoAnne Ellis's creativity, we enjoyed ratatouille and a platter of delicious sweet peppers and beans.  Cooperation in action--how fitting for a balancing themed semester!