Choose action!

Ever witnessed situations or heard statements that sent up hackles, but weren’t sure what to do or say to intervene or how to get help? The Choose Action Network will be conducting the next Mentors in Violence Prevention (MVP) Training for students over a 6 part workshop beginning NEXT THURSDAY (1/23/2020 during College Hour)! MVP is a renowned “gender violence, sexual harassment and bullying prevention program…[that teaches bystanders how] to challenge … social, cultural and institutional norms that support abusive behavior.”  Participants will have opportunities to practice responses AND gain a cohort of like-minded folks who share their concerns for a safer community.

We strongly encourage students to attend all the sessions.

This session is for students--please contact chooseaction@esf.edu to sign up!  For more information, contact Jennifer Keating at Jkeating@esf.edu.  Faculty and staff—let students know they have your support to participate, and stay tuned for announcement for a separate workshop just for you! 

Empowerment 2018

Griot (storyteller) and Keynote Speaker Vanessa Johnson opened ESF's 4th Annual Women's Empowerment Brunch in song, segueing to stories of empowerment and recovery, and finding joy. The panel, comprised of Ann Moore, Chris Kosakowski (an educator from Vera House), Dr. Kelley Donaghy, Dr. Malika Carter, Jules Findlay, and Dr. Biljana Bujanovic, answered questions posed by facilitator Brittany Wong and the floor. Panelists shared goals for improving their workplace, "removing barriers put in place for no good reason," and shaking things up. They explained their personal definitions of feminism, which were largely consistent with one another, and revolved around intersectionality, respect, and promoting equality and equity for people of all genders (ironically, few of the panel had considered themselves to be feminists prior to being asked to consider the question!). They shared personal stories of being subject to, or witnessing, bias in the workplace.

They advised questioning microaggressions, listening more and talking less, and that "its OK to tap out and practice self-care. You have a right to feel safe in the conversation." In regards to supporting survivors of Sexual Assault and Domestic Violence in times like the #MeToo movement (credit: Tarana Burke): Believe them; understand consent (which applies to all thing); stop perpetuating rape culture; know when to step up and to step back; support education to recognize those at risk and prevent abuse; "stop caring more men's reputations than women's lives," "speak with them, not for them," and help them hold power. They shared examples of using privilege to help: advocating, recognizing that individuals from marginalized groups are too often called upon to teach but that its not their job "to coddle my little white ego" and that gold stars aren't earned by "just not being a bad person"--call out when see or hear something.

While panelists did recall times when women were in competition with one another, in general, they felt that women should support one another, and actively do so. They also noted that women are taught that negative reactions are due to personality (they don't like me) rather than gender (they treat all ___ this way) (NOTE: in retrospect, when the numbers of women or non-binary people are very low, its very difficult to tell the difference). They also advised not to compare self to social media ideals, as people tend to show only the best sides of themselves. When asked "What does it mean to be an ally?" Panelists described times when "partners in society change" asked them "This seemed to bother you. What can I do?", requesting permission and guidance to ensure they amplified in an affirming way. And noted that "its not the 'four-letter words' (like f-bombs) that are so painful, its the pronouns [that relay that only a 'he' can be expected to be hired, or could earn some achievement] and other words that demean." Know when to speak up and when to shut up, and don't expect a pat on the head for not being a jerk. Acknowledge that the price is high, but the reward is great. "Allyship can be a 'soft-term'...prefer 'advocate' or 'accomplice.'

When asked by the floor for action items to continue the discussion:

• Think of your spheres of influence. Each of us has some power--where can you be a support or a change agent? 
• Question that which you take for granted. Think critically about it. 
• Support girls in whatever they want to do, and especially in education 
• Keep talking 
• Be known for something 
• Call out the word "girls" or other terms that infantilize women or diminish their expertise and experience

A different set of discussion questions was distributed among the tables (as well as historic elements of last week's election!), and posted along the walls. Participants were asked to add their thoughts.

I personally, want to thank Ms Johnson and the panel for sharing with us today. Organizers strived to maintain a safe space, but its the participants that make that feasible, and I thank them for doing so. I also thank Ruth Larson of the Counseling Center for standing by in the event any participant needed to step out, and Christopher Baycura who arrived early to set up and test event audio, and the students who spent time each week drafting and sequencing questions, and spent their weekend on the last minute touches.

The Women's Empowerment Brunch was a collaborative effort of the Baobab Society, Undergraduate Student Association and the ESF Women's Caucus. Voluntary contributions to the donation jar were sent to the YWCA to benefit Girls Inc. programming.

Domestic Violence and a Woman's Self-worth

After a round of self-esteem exercises on our own, Vera House, Inc. co-exective director Randi Bregman joined the Baobab Society and Women's Caucus to answer questions about recognizing domestic abuse, and helping our friends and families find the sense of worth and safety they deserve.  People stay in abusive relationships for lots of reasons, including fear of the unknown and some comfort with the familiar (the devil you know....).  Often, they "want the relationship to continue, but the abuse to end." The best thing that we can do for those we know are at risk:  be good supportive listeners and keep at it.   Model a concerned relationship. It's a big decision about whether or not to involve authorities--you might fear reprisal, or fear that this act might offend the person you are trying to protect. "Do not put yourself at risk by trying to intervene directly."  Direct them to local resources:  locally, Vera House and the Rape Crisis center have recently merged (Vera House, Inc) to provide comprehensive assistance, 24/7. Sadly, 70% of the clients of the Rape Crisis Center are children.
When are children at risk?  It used to be that they were only considered to be in harm's way when abuse was directed at them.  The current thinking has evolved, however, to recognize that it isn't good for their emotional and long-term well being to repeatedly witness such acts.  Teachers and medical professionals are mandatory reporters if they suspect a child is in any danger.
We also asked about the sensitivity of police when someone has been raped, should the initial response be to call the police?  No--first go to the hospital to 1. tend to  physical injuries 2. collect evidence and 3. talk to an advocate who can advise and notify authorities if victim chooses to do so.