ESF's 6th Women's Empowerment Brunch invited participants, panelists, and keynote to consider ways to Make (or Reclaim) Space.
Emcee Emily Li (EnvStudies 2022) introduced Dr. Emily Stewart, Senior Director of Education & Curation, at Syracuse's Museum of Science and Technology who discussed the ways the MOST has become more accessible for a variety of community members, including sensory friendly exhibits; reduced admission for veterans and active military, and EBT users; as well as supporting community science educators and youth science competitions. (Families with middle schoolers: check out their partnership with TACNY, called Jr Cafe, which provides a free program with continental breakfast and free museum admission, generally 3rd Saturdays during the academic year.) Panelists Alice Olom and Martikah Williams, co-founders of Black Artist Collective; Dr. Marcelle Haddix, Distinguished Dean's Professor of Literacy, Race and
Justice in the Reading and Language Arts department in Syracuse
University's School of Education; and ESF students Sachi Segan (EnvStudies 2022) and Isabella Fiorese (EnvScience 2023) answered questions about finding space, allyship, and ways of moving forward.
Panelists shared the necessity of resting, setting boundaries, and surrounding themselves with supporting people, and the challenge and exhaustion:
of "having to act white" and the overwork of silent labor. Women and other marginalized identities have to always be ready to respond to emails, even while on vacation. One panelists who hails from a "collectivist, family-centered background" and being told by elder family members "Don't be too loud, Black and proud" for fear of risking citizenship process.
When asked how allies can make space for marginalized identities: show up and speak up! Challenge authority and speak for those who cannot. Panelists countered with "are you educating yourself? Going where you are uncomfortable so others can be more so? Thinking about and learning the details taught in Title IX training?" They also noted that the question is upsetting because folks SHOULD know what an ally is by now, and label "ally" is used performatively, without active engagement or demonstrative effort. Are so-called allies giving something up? Shifting power dynamics, leaving positions of privilege? Its an intersectional question with many layers. Fighting for Black people, Black LGBTQIA+, Black Muslims, fighting for and with. Are allies standing up for these, even when they are not in the room?
In what ways can we move forward and make space? Be honest that every day is a new challenge and that women have to fight all the time, especially Black women. Acknowledge that its OK to "just be" for a minute. Work with Cafe Sankofa and Women's Health, taking up brick and mortar with the 15th ward, understand what's happening with the I-81 project. Land acknowledgements are empty; how do they lead to reconciliation of the violence that led to the use of these spaces? BAC's mission is to interrupt, disrupt, break down barriers and speak to what's happening in our community, at any or multiple scales.
Questions from the audience: How do you physically create boundaries? Takes practice, be specific. Acknowledge what's causing you harm. Understand what YOU need to be fully present. May need to intentionality pause to figure out what your balance looks like.
When confronted with the phrases "Just take care of yourself" or "you should have said something", flip the script "I am struggling to establish boundaries, but I need them." Start small--it takes 21 days to create a habit. One panelists had to unlearn "yes" because was working self to sickness. For black women in particular, stories that are empowering but overwhelming, the protagonist is always strong. Can we be fragile or vulnerable?
If boss does not respect need for rest, it's time to go. A tip: Review your job description. If what you are asked to do is not listed, use that to negotiation. Review other people's job descriptions, and call folks out when they aren't doing their jobs. "You are director of _____; that's your job (and not _____'s).
Suggestions: Read White Fragility and How to be an AntiRacist, all of it! More POC on boards, front money and invest in people and businesses that do the work. PAY for the Training, go in with other organizations to cover the costs. 1-3 POC out of 500 is not enough.
Panelists love Gen Z, who are open and forward and use social media to call out, build up, and hold accountable.
Last thoughts: SU (academia?) has to come down from The Hill. College has a utopian aspect, and college community should be more involved in community organizations like Black Cuse pride, BAC. which are small organizations that are constantly doing the work. Bring elements back to ESF and SU.
Be a good person, be more thoughtful, leave it better than you found it.
The 2021 WEB was presented by the Baobab Society and the ESF Women's Caucus, in collaboration with The Writing Resource Center, Poetry Society, ESF Bookstore, Green Campus Initiative, and the Environmental Studies Student Organization, with support of the Undergraduate Student Association, Counseling Center, Vera House, and the Sustainability Office. Organizers particulary wish to thank Chris from Vera House and Ruth from Counseling Services for being available for anyone in need of support, Christopher from ITSmedia for sound system set up (and providing student support during the event itself), as well as Bliss Bakehouse, Fat Cat Baking, Mello Velo, Recess Coffee for working with our budgets and guidance to deliciously meet dietary and low-waste constraints.
After a pandemic-related hiatus, ESF's 6th Women's Empowerment Brunch will take place Sunday, November 7, 11am-2pm, in Gateway Center. With a theme of Making Space, the program will feature a panel discussion and literary pieces and art centered around outer space and physical space. Poems, short stories, essays and image can be submitted by members of the campus community at https://linktr.ee/TheBaobabSociety.
Online registration
is now open. Raffle tickets will be available for purchase in the two weeks
prior to the event, M-F 10-2, in Gateway Center. Prizes have been
generously donated by campus groups; all proceeds will be donated to
organizations that empower women and girls. Registration will enable planners
to finalize orders and accommodation requests, but walk-ins are welcome (space
permitting). Raffle tickets will also be available for purchase onsite.
As has become tradition for this event, the dress code is for
participants to wear what makes them feel empowered.
The 2021 WEB is presented by the Baobab Society and the ESF
Women's Caucus, in collaboration with The Writing Resource Center, Poetry
Society, ESF Bookstore, Green Campus Initiative, and the Environmental Studies
Student Organization, with support of the Undergraduate Student
Association, Counseling Center and the Sustainability Office.
Patricia Cerro-Reehil, Executive
Director, NYWEA Johnson opened the WEB with hurdles: colleagues pushed to be internal counsel rather than client facing, flextime in acknowledgment of families and variable schedules, never feeling old enough to fill managerial roles (vs male counterparts growing beards, appearing more distinuquished and part of the club), that boards aren't reflective of social makeup--in gender or ethnicity. Ask for what you need. Be realistic about balance. Focus of what's important and give it your all.
The panel, comprised of Reehil, Shumaila
Bhatti, Janine DeBaise, Alyssa McDanile, Caleb Scib, answered questions posed
by facilitator Brittany Wong and the floor about the hurdles they face, and the
compounding impacts of the intersection with gender and other aspects of
identity. They defined feminism as equal social and political opportunity for access, security to make choices. That the definition still needs to be explained means that it hasn't yet been rached. Need more female perspectives in land planning and more.
They advice young people to get experience by "going above and beyond, but still find time for balance." Some ignore sexual harassment on jobs because they "needed job. No one else is complaining" until in "better positions" speak out. One described ideas being mocked, and being treated as a joke. Another tried to make complaints but was told they "misunderstood. It was nothing." Remaining colleagues pressured HR until an investigation was scheduled, months later.
Male colleagues, mentors and classmates can encourage and provide info and resources. They can also push forward ideas (especially ones that have been ignored) presented by their female colleagues and classmates, panelists noted that transmen might not "present enough as male" to have much power or privilege.
Those in power can do more to promote intersectionality though community building and acknowledging that there isn't intersectional understanding at this time! Recognize the need for events like these. Don't unsee things. Let people reflect on their experiences, and don't dismiss it. OK to ask simple questions, but don't start from position of stereotypes.
Require courses in cultural competency and environmental justice.
For managing conflict, acknowledge the commonalities to move forward. Also cannot ignore that biases and assumptions exist.
Key points: Women (and gender non-conforming
folks) face a higher penalty for messing up than male/straight peers.This goes along with tenancy to give those
individuals credit for their potential, while women (and gender non-conforming)
have to demonstrate their competencies, often at high levels.Also, women are assumed to speak more than we
do.Cultural competencies are learned,
and colleges should provide opportunities through required coursework and
trainings, and opportunities like these to listen to each others stories.
The Baobab Society would like to formally invite the campus to the
Women's Empowerment Brunch. It is an annual event meant to celebrate women from
any background and encourage ally-ship and support from around campus and the
community.
The event will take place on Saturday, November 9th from
11:00am-2:00pm in the Gateway Center. Admission is free and open for all to
come, so invite friends and family! In
addition to serving free brunch, we will be hosting a panel and group
discussion about women in the workforce, in STEM, and representation across all
levels and groups.
We'd love to have you for this event! If you have any questions, comments, or
concerns, please contact thebaobabsociety@gmail.com or
Emily Li at eli107@syr.edu and
we'd be happy to answer them.
Griot (storyteller) and Keynote Speaker Vanessa Johnson opened ESF's 4th Annual Women's Empowerment Brunch in song, segueing to stories of empowerment and recovery, and finding joy. The panel, comprised of Ann Moore, Chris Kosakowski (an educator from Vera House), Dr. Kelley Donaghy, Dr. Malika Carter, Jules Findlay, and Dr. Biljana Bujanovic, answered questions posed by facilitator Brittany Wong and the floor. Panelists shared goals for improving their workplace, "removing barriers put in place for no good reason," and shaking things up. They explained their personal definitions of feminism, which were largely consistent with one another, and revolved around intersectionality, respect, and promoting equality and equity for people of all genders (ironically, few of the panel had considered themselves to be feminists prior to being asked to consider the question!). They shared personal stories of being subject to, or witnessing, bias in the workplace.
They advised questioning microaggressions, listening more and talking less, and that "its OK to tap out and practice self-care. You have a right to feel safe in the conversation." In regards to supporting survivors of Sexual Assault and Domestic Violence in times like the #MeToo movement (credit: Tarana Burke): Believe them; understand consent (which applies to all thing); stop perpetuating rape culture; know when to step up and to step back; support education to recognize those at risk and prevent abuse; "stop caring more men's reputations than women's lives," "speak with them, not for them," and help them hold power. They shared examples of using privilege to help: advocating, recognizing that individuals from marginalized groups are too often called upon to teach but that its not their job "to coddle my little white ego" and that gold stars aren't earned by "just not being a bad person"--call out when see or hear something.
While panelists did recall times when women were in competition with one another, in general, they felt that women should support one another, and actively do so. They also noted that women are taught that negative reactions are due to personality (they don't like me) rather than gender (they treat all ___ this way) (NOTE: in retrospect, when the numbers of women or non-binary people are very low, its very difficult to tell the difference). They also advised not to compare self to social media ideals, as people tend to show only the best sides of themselves. When asked "What does it mean to be an ally?" Panelists described times when "partners in society change" asked them "This seemed to bother you. What can I do?", requesting permission and guidance to ensure they amplified in an affirming way. And noted that "its not the 'four-letter words' (like f-bombs) that are so painful, its the pronouns [that relay that only a 'he' can be expected to be hired, or could earn some achievement] and other words that demean." Know when to speak up and when to shut up, and don't expect a pat on the head for not being a jerk. Acknowledge that the price is high, but the reward is great. "Allyship can be a 'soft-term'...prefer 'advocate' or 'accomplice.'
When asked by the floor for action items to continue the discussion:
Think of your spheres of influence. Each of us has some power--where can you be a support or a change agent?
Question that which you take for granted. Think critically about it.
Support girls in whatever they want to do, and especially in education
Keep talking
Be known for something
Call out the word "girls" or other terms that infantilize women or diminish their expertise and experience
A different set of discussion questions was distributed among the tables (as well as historic elements of last week's election!), and posted along the walls. Participants were asked to add their thoughts.
I personally, want to thank Ms Johnson and the panel for sharing with us today. Organizers strived to maintain a safe space, but its the participants that make that feasible, and I thank them for doing so. I also thank Ruth Larson of the Counseling Center for standing by in the event any participant needed to step out, and Christopher Baycura who arrived early to set up and test event audio, and the students who spent time each week drafting and sequencing questions, and spent their weekend on the last minute touches.
The Women's Empowerment Brunch was a collaborative effort of the Baobab Society, Undergraduate Student Association and the ESF Women's Caucus. Voluntary contributions to the donation jar were sent to the YWCA to benefit Girls Inc. programming.
The Baobab Society and USA (with a little help from the ESF Women's Caucus) hosted the 3rd
Annual EMPOWERMENT BRUNCH on November 12, 2017. Elissa Johnson, Food Science (SU) keynoted (food is a social justice issue); panel with Dr. Rebecca
Gardner, Upstate; Dr. Marie-Odile Fortier, ESF-FNRM; Dr. Malika Carter, ESF;
and Jason Bonet, an undergrad in Conservation Biology. Laura Crandall was
presented an award for (among other things) her work empowering students
through the Leadership Training series.
Take home messages from keynote and panel: mentor
matter; sheer representation is not enough, need to think about systemic
change; those with privilege can amplify the voices of those without.
Empowerment comes from within but also from community, equal treatment
and opportunity—including assumptions about income potential, transformative
power sharing. language matters. Choose battles.
Baobab members also used
“conversation mapping” for everyone to weigh in on questions like “What is
Empowerment”, “How can men be allies”, “how to encourage women to pursue STEM”,
“how to encourage women of color to pursue STEM.” Participants were
encouraged to write responses, and star those that resonated. Baobab
members then shared some of them, including: allies can listen and give
credit, and empower coworkers so they aren’t overburdened with the
“representation” tasks; mentors share stories of success and failure, media
shows science as elitist and inaccessible so we are challenged to make it
relevant; acknowledge women’s contributions to STEM, don’t sexualize nerdiness,
build better pathways for girls providing quality education preK on up. Images are available at: https://www.instagram.com/p/BbaBD8QB7_Y/?taken-by=thebaobabsociety
Panelists Drs. Lindi Quackenbush, Tehmekah MacPherson, Melissa Fierke, Marie-Odile Fortier and Kelley Donaghey addressed questions on this year's focal point: Leadership.
Facilitator Alana Lindsey of the Baobab Society recognized that ESF is on Haudenosaunee Territory, and then launched into questions.
Panelists noted "official" leadership duties as chairs and directors, but also mentors and in development of large classes, serving as counterpoints on committees, and as examples.
They shared times when their authority was not taken seriously. One observes that this is more noticeable at STEM institutions than in more comprehensive institutions, with a larger number of departments and more women faculty members. Another mentioned a male student explaining to her the purpose of her own class. Another that when they attempt to discuss such things with male coworkers that they imply that the issue is with her.
One mentioned that this occurs in classrooms, and wondered if its simply a new setting. Colleagues at other institutions assure her that no, there really is always a grandstander (usually male).
Female and male faculty are perceived very differently; there are studies that show that evaluations of male instructors will be rated 17% better without any other differences. Compounded by discrimation due to other immutable factors (young, being a person of color)--its hard to separate how much is because of female, country of origin, because grew up very rurally
Strategies:
MacPherson: Don't dismiss feelings; use something you love to move to the other side. [She] has artistic expression, voices [of authors, quotes]
Be willing to say, No, I can't do that.
Address assumptions head on: but can be perceived as cold, bitch. But if don't respond: pushover.
Dress so that you are comfortable and feel good about yourself (if you feel most confident in makeup, go for it!) and don't worry about other's opinions. (One notes that this is difficult--makeup takes a bit longer to get ready, easy care hairstyle or coloring requires more frequent appointments, and they do worry that others might perceive that this wasted time).
For People of Color, hair has been a political statement--it takes up physical space, and women are supposed to be as small and quiet as possible.
Take up space in attire as well--do I feel like dealing with comments today? If not, I choose to dress differently. If yes, go all out.
Question : importance of how women address other women, and how men address women. While the questioner wondered about this in the context of "slut shaming" (never cool), panelists dove into the issue of infantilizing women by referring to them as "girls." Consciously correct. Pronouns count!
Tips for Women of Color?
Work out what it is that you want to be. need to be happy with the progress you are making.
Don't let anyone suppress your flame. Know when its being tested, know when you need a break. Identify a survival kit with quotes to see you through to being whole. Find the MENTORING group for your field, or for women in your field.
Challenge yourself
I get interrupted a lot--what strategies can I employ? Be silent? Watch them run into a wall? Sometimes you need to interject: "Please let me finish" or "One more thing that I'd like to add before we move on"
Responses to anti-feminist comments, or you are "being too sensitive" or "taking it too seriously"?
(To be continued, in other forums!)
Baobab Society, Undergraduate Student Association-Student Inclusion, and ESF Women's Caucus
I'd like to share two collaborations this semester, with two different groups of women, working toward the goal of supporting women along the STEM pipeline, but at different stages in their lives and careers.
Mid-semester, students Rhea Joseph, President of the Baobab Society, and Fatema Zubair and
Samantha McVey, Undergraduate Student Association's Co-Directors of Student Affairs and Diversity, approached us about collaborating on "a social mixer/brunch to promote women empowerment specifically in STEM related fields"-- something Rhea and Fatema had in in the backs of their minds for a while, but with graduation rapidly approaching, would need to do soon to participate themselves!! We brainstormed format and discussion points, they periodically reported back that they'd secured panelists, drafted questions and would like feedback on them, ordered food, were selling tickets, had sold out! And then April 10 was there--Baobab Society finalized the decorations, welcomed in a gender inclusive audience of 80 or so students, staff, faculty, who listened to these poised young women expertly facilitate the panel discussion, focusing on challenges in and out of the workplace, what helped, and what should the community really look at to truly assess the climate for women, so that students, faculty and staff succeed in an environment that promotes a sense of value, support and belonging, rather than persisting in spite of that environment.
Take home messages:
It's time to think about a different way of doing things, but some challenges remain.
You may not feel "like a full-fledged member" of a department, especially if you have different credentials than the others in your unit. But you can open doors (even a crack) for others to come through to be full members of the community and value the different opinions at the table.
The "family prices" can still seem as negative for women. You need supportive partners at home! At work, find people (or a group of people, like the Women's Caucus, or a virtual group, like the esfwomen listserv) to answer questions, bounce ideas, just be there and listen.
Club issue--feel like the only one. If you don't want to be part of an existing group, make your own! Even if its just a club of one.
Particular challenges that our panel faced: two started the tenure clock over when hired here (despite college's history of offering tenured title to others who had attained elsewhere), because (for one) that process for a woman of color at another institution was "just not up to the same standard." That made her more determined--"they won't be skeptical at the end!" She continued to feel marginalized--but cannot pin it on ethnicity, but on simply thinking differently. How do you get past that? Empower and talk to one another! Being intentional about working with women and supporting one another. Culturally, wait to speak until asked. Big challenge to learn to interrupt. Listen to those who say "You're strong." Bossy vs same behavior in men that is lauded. STEM fields considered very linear, but integration is much more valued now.
Sexually harassed by advisors? Currently there is more awareness of this, but women are still more at risk during travel.
How should we assess the climate for women? Its hard to measure a sense of belonging....do our curricula represent a plurality of ways of being? Thinking? How much do we integrate justice, ethics in science? How do we value all the different things folks bring? Do we listen? Do faculty learn? Retention and advancement in field! Are we persisting in spite of problems or succeeding within a strong support network? Keep moving forward!
....
Parallel to this event, Caucus staff met with individuals from Outreach, C-STEP, Diversity and Inclusion, SU's STEP program, and Girls Inc of YWCA to plan the 2016 Girls Summit, held at ESF and SU on May 7--a keynote by Dawn Benjamin, 8 workshops featuring a different STEM career (each girl attended 4), plus a college readiness panel of current college students facilitated by Mel Mennon, then of On Point for College. A record (I believe) 93! middle and high-school girls participated--putting "hard" (as in "concrete", not an assessment of difficulty) science and math into action, some with a social (aka "soft") science twist, to help them consider new fields for themselves, but also to see purpose in science and math, to stay interested in those subjects--as that interest is correlated with higher self esteem, and more options.
If the speed at which tickets were sold out to the first event is indicative of either a climate of support, or readiness to provide that, and a culture of inclusion, we are well on our way to be ready to support the Girls Summit participants, as students, and as community leaders, when those that choose to come here do so. Let's keep moving forward!
When we scheduled our campus screening with the Baobab Society, we
tried to place it in March as a Women's History Month/belated
International Women's Day event. But as we prepare for Passover, I
realized that the timing also has relevance for this holiday, at least for me. You see, my mother struggled to find a family Haggadah (the book read during the seder)
that told the ancient tale, but still felt relevant to her. She found
one she liked well enough for our immediate family and the friends that joined us
each year (our extended family is very widely scattered), largely
because it used everyday English, but also because the language was a
little less gendered than the version used at her childhood table. But it still didn't quite let the gathered envision themselves in the story--which is a goal of each telling. So, I now have Mom's collection, plus a variety of other haggadot that each have something that I like, but none I'd recommend in its entirety.
I
am now one of the friends at another family's table. They
worked around their similar dissatisfaction with commercially available Haggadot by writing their own. They used the biblical story as its basis, but contemporizes its telling by interspersing a few jokes (Why do we call it matzah? Well, it has little holes like matzah.), and stories of current day social justice issues--subjugation of others by
virtue of ethnicity, class, gender, sexual orientation, even dietary
preferences (they have vegan, vegetarian, and carnivorous options at
their table--all kosher l'Pesach). This reminds the
gathered that despite the dissolution of slavery in Exodus, and even later in
the US, human trafficking still flourishes in parts of the country. In
many countries, girls marry far too young as her virtue and fertility
are bartered for her family's financial security. Rape might be perceived as a rite of passage or punishment for being in a man's world. And those that speak out against these or other practices have been subject to punishment.
Tonight, we will sing the
traditional verses of Dayenu ("It would have been enough") which gives
thanks for each level of assistance provided from slavery to the
promised land, each of which "would have been enough" and will read new verses that bring us from that moment into our
time. We will belt out songs from the '60s peace movement, Debbie
Freidman's Miriam's Song, and Tracy Chapman's Why, accompanied by
tambourines and other instruments that decorate the table, enjoying food
that celebrates both Ashkenazim and Mizrahi traditions. And when we
do, I'll think of Wadley, Senna, Yasmin and the others--and the choices that they don't yet have. And I will once again thank this family for making history live for my child (and for my husband and I), and reenforcing the aspects of his heritage that address inclusion, righting wrongs, and building community.
If you missed the ESF screening, please book seats at
http://gathr.us/screening/2445 for Wed. April 10, 7:30 pm, Regal 17 Cinemas at
Destiny. Tickets ($10 ea) must be reserved -- cards are not charged until a
sufficient number of tickets are reserved, and if they don't reach that
goal within the allotted time, showings are cancelled. As of this moment, they still need about 20 reservations. This has been the
fate of other regional showings--I hope this means
that our local community is just not yet not familiar with this ticketing
mechanism rather than disinterest in the subject.
The SU Chapter of She's the First, a not-for-profit that "sponsors
girls’ education in the developing world, helping them be the first in
their families to graduate" will host SU's campus screening on Wed
April 3 at 7:30 pm in NewHouse 3 Rm 141. Other events
scheduled for "She's the First{Syracuse} Week" include:
Mo Apr 1 Insomnia Cookie Fundraising --10% of all proceeds will go to STF
Bake Sale 10-4, Schine
Yoga Night, 7:30 pm, Archibold Gym, 1st Fl
Tu Apr 2 Conversation with Christen Brandt, STF's Director of International Operations and SU Newhouse alumna, The Herg, NH3
We Apr 3 Bake Sale, 10-4, Schine Center and Girl Rising, 7:30 pm in NewHouse 3 Rm 141
Th Apr 4 Girls+Education= Magho (Daughter)
http://shesthefirst.org/magho/ & forum on girls' education, 7 pm, HL 107.
Fr Apr 5 Bake Sale 10-4 Schine, Late Night Ice Skating, 9pm-12am, Tennity
Sa Apr 6, Dodgeball for Education, 1:30 pm, Women's Bldg Gym A, $1 spectator fee
PIH is also trying to schedule a showing at Shoppingtown on May 9, 7:30 pm. These seats are reservable at
http://gathr.us/screening/2124
About Girl Rising: This feature film shares the stories of 9 individual
girls--"transformed for the screen by an acclaimed writer from
her native country: Marie Arana from Peru, Edwidge Danticat from
Haiti, Mona Eltahawy from Egypt, Aminatta Forna from Sierra
Leone, Zarghuna Kargar from Afghanistan, Maaza Mengiste from
Ethiopia, Sooni Taraporevala from India, Manjushree Thapa from
Nepal, and Loung Ung from Cambodia. Priyanka Chopra, Selena
Gomez, Anne Hathaway, Alicia Keys, Meryl Streep, Kerry
Washington and other celebrated actresses contribute voice
performances to the film, which features original music from
Academy Award winner Rachel Portman, in collaboration with Hans
Zimmer."
The
film is rated PG-13 because it deals with some of the elements of the serious
issues that the girls have faced in their lives (e.g., sexual violence, AIDS,
and homelessness). However, nothing graphic or explicit is shown (no nudity,
swearing, or violence). Parents should take into account the maturity of their children as some
subject matter may just go over their heads. A
rough cut of the film was assessed as appropriate for 6th grade and up.
After a round of self-esteem
exercises on our own, Vera House, Inc. co-exective director
Randi Bregman joined the Baobab Society and Women's Caucus to
answer questions about recognizing domestic abuse, and helping
our friends and families find the sense of worth and safety they
deserve.
People stay in abusive relationships for lots of reasons,
including fear of the unknown and some comfort with the familiar
(the devil you know....). Often, they "want the
relationship to continue, but the abuse to end." The best thing
that we can do for those we know are at risk: be good
supportive listeners and keep at it.Model a
concerned relationship. It's a big decision about whether or not
to involve authorities--you might fear reprisal, or fear that
this act might offend the person you are trying to protect. "Do
not put yourself at risk by trying to intervene directly."
Direct them to local resources: locally,
Vera
House and the
Rape Crisis center have
recently merged (Vera House, Inc) to provide comprehensive
assistance, 24/7. Sadly, 70% of the clients of the Rape Crisis
Center are children.
When are children at risk? It used to be that they were
only considered to be in harm's way when abuse was directed at
them. The current thinking has evolved, however, to
recognize that it isn't good for their emotional and long-term
well being to repeatedly witness such acts. Teachers and
medical professionals are mandatory reporters if they suspect a
child is in any danger.
We also asked about the sensitivity of police when someone has
been raped, should the initial response be to call the police?
No--first go to
the hospital to 1. tend to physical injuries 2. collect
evidence and 3. talk to an advocate who can advise and notify
authorities if victim chooses to do so.
