Faculty, researchers, and graduate students share candid stories about childcare costs, dual-career challenges, and the strategies that help
Conversations about academic careers usually highlight
publications, grants, and professional milestones. At a recent panel hosted by
the ESF Women’s Caucus and Graduate Student Association, the focus shifted to
the personal realities omitted from CVs: caregiving responsibilities and structural
gaps in balancing work and family life.
Moderated by undergraduate
student Bella Francisco (Biotechnology ’26), the conversation moved through
childcare availability and cost, neurodiversity and disability-related needs,
dual-career households, care of older family members, geographic distance from
family, and pressures tied to soft-money positions and tenure timelines.
Panelists PhD candidate Chloe Beaupre,
Research Scientist Dr. Mark Eisenbies,
Professor Emeritus Dr. Tom Horton,
Associate Professor Dr. Brian Leydet, and
Assistant Professor Dr. Danielle Kloster
revealed less a checklist of “tips” than a portrait of how academic work bends
around family life, and how often families are left to solve systemic problems
on their own.
Childcare quickly emerged as a theme: finding, affording, and holding on
“It is extremely
difficult to find childcare in the Syracuse area—and everywhere” summarized Dr.
Kloster. Spaces for healthy children,
with no or accessible intervention needs are limited community-wide, let alone
those for kiddos with more complex health concerns. Spots for infants are particularly scarce;
preschool seats are more available, but the hours don’t always match student
and faculty parents class, lab, and studio schedules. And there is a hefty price-tag.
Chloe Beaupre: “We’ve been on a waitlist for childcare
subsidies… We’re just bleeding money. And that’s a huge barrier.”
Dr. Leydet: “I don’t make enough to pay for daycare… my
wife decided to stay home because it was the fiscally right thing to do—and it
was completely incorrect for her career.”
Unpredictability of foster placements compounds the already
difficult task of securing childcare on short notice. Kloster: “With foster
care, … you usually get a few hours’ notice, so it’s scrambling to try to find
an open spot. I’ve called 20-plus daycares trying to get them a spot.…We’ve
been pretty lucky that we [now] have really good, consistent daycare. But when
the kids are sick, it does become a big mental load to figure out who it’s most
appropriate to stay home in any given scenario.”
Care that is reliable and close
to campus makes a world of difference. The short distance to Beaupre’s provider
allowed her to nurse during a period when her infant wouldn’t take a
bottle. Now over that hurdle, she can
focus on work knowing her child is in good hands.
For Horton, early childcare
required logistics and improvisation. He described the careful teaching
schedules he and Dr. Annette Krezner coordinated to pass their oldest child
back and forth. He recalled learning years later that drop-off was harder and
more stigmatized for Krezner than he realized at the time: their daughter cried
far more when Krezner left.
Dual-Career Households and Geographic Isolation
Dr. Eisenbies reflected on how
hard it can be to place two PhDs in the same region. He recalled accepting a
prior position partly because there was also a role for his statistician
wife—an offer that ultimately fell through, leading to the realization that: “If
there’s not a job here for my wife, there’s not a job here for me.”
Leydet, who has no nearby
family, described the toll of geographic isolation. He and his wife had their
first date in two and a half years only recently, when his mother visited. “I really wish I would have been closer to
family. I think that would have been a lifesaver.”
Distance can also complicate
care of older family members that require sudden, and sometimes ongoing care.
Several panelists chose ESF to be closer to aging parents or injured in-laws
after extended periods of frequent long drives to provide assistance.
Timing isn’t everything
Panelists pushed back on the
trope that there is a single “right” time to have children. Carefully made
plans can be upended by difficulty conceiving or carrying, an early arrival, or
unexpected temporary or long-term care needs of those children, parents, or
partners.
Kloster shared the mindset that
has helped her stay grounded while raising young children and building toward
tenure. “I don’t want to waste my
kid’s childhood working all the time, and I don’t want to waste my job
stressing about it all the time. I want to enjoy it while I’m doing it.”
Beaupre pointed to what she
sees as a toxic culture in academia around family, criticizing the practice of
dedicating dissertations to children with apologies for missed bedtimes. “This culture of treating academia like
it’s just all that matters, and it should be all consuming, is so toxic. It’s a
job. We have lives outside of it, and we do our jobs better when we can have
that balance.”
Leydet cautioned against
comparing productivity with colleagues, noting that he has witnessed this
practice—even in formal tenure processes—and that it does particular harm to
parents. “Not comparing myself to
others is really, really important, because everybody’s situation is different.
No one is in your situation—don’t compare yourself to anybody else. Do what
feels right, and keep moving forward.”
External support can be another
lifeline. Horton described an NSF grant Kretzer secured that was structured to
help trailing spouses find employment, calling it a model worth
revisiting. “You can apply for
money—if you work it and shop around, find out who’s doing that kind of
thing—and then use that as a leverage point with universities.”
Kretzer’s old friend was a critical source of support for
Horton and Kretzer as her health declined.
Kristin visited weekly, and actively aided in increasingly physically
and emotionally demanding care.
Beaupre credited new friends, in the form of on-campus
groups (ESF Women’s Caucus and FamilyResources), for connecting her to daycare,
and ongoing conversations.
What Works: Mentorship, Clear Expectations, and Communication
Kloster credited clear
promotion and tenure expectations as a key source of stability. “I know exactly how many papers I need to
publish, how much grant money I need… And that helps me to shut off at the end of
the day.”
She also shared advice
that resonated with her “to enjoy the work rather than dread the process.”
She credited senior faculty not only with advising junior colleagues to avoid
excessive service obligations, but also with stepping up to actively fill those
roles.
Leydet advised junior
colleagues to seek out mentors who have navigated parenthood in academia,
rather than those who have not. “Mentorship was very important—identifying
faculty members who had gone through what I wanted to go through and taking
their advice. I still am at their doors every day, even as a tenured faculty
member, seeking their advice as their children grow.” Not all colleagues were helpful warned
Horton: “There were certain
faculty that we learned were toxic themselves. And they would say things, and
you just have to ignore it.”
Horton emphasized the
importance of not waiting for a crisis to communicate openly with
supervisors. “You do not need to
carry the burden of your job when major life issues like this are happening.
They will at least give you the space to take care of it.”
Advice for Those in the “Hard Season”
Panelists offered encouragement to those simultaneously
navigating the most demanding phases of academic life and early parenthood. “No
one is in your situation,” said Leydet, urging “Don’t compare [yourself]
to anybody else. Do what feels right and move that forward.”
Kloster reflected on setting
boundaries. “Something I’m working on
is saying no more. It’s really hard right now, but it’s also the best job in
the world, and there’s nothing else I’d rather be doing.”
Eisenbies, reflecting on what
has sustained his marriage through years of uncertainty, focused on
partnership. “I just hope whoever’s
listening that they meet somebody who has shared values with you. Every
argument that we have ends with ‘I love you,’ even when we’re still annoyed
with each other.”
Recommendations for the Academy
Beaupre offered concrete
suggestions for institutional improvement: “Spring
break at the university should match spring break in the school
district….[More] grants should be able to have extensions [for family leave].”
Caregiver funding available to
pre-tenure faculty attending conferences is not currently accessible to
graduate students (or postdocs), a gap Beaupre described as inequitable given
that graduate researchers are often at the prime age for starting families.
In a nutshell:
•
Childcare is the central constraint: availability
and affordability drive daily logistics, career decisions, and stress.
•
Support networks matter: being far from
family amplifies challenges, especially with health and neurodiversity-related
care needs. Friends and community—including
workplaces-- can be lifelines.
•
Career structures can help or hurt: clear
tenure/P&T expectations, travel support, mentoring, and funding flexibility
reduce uncertainty; soft-money roles add instability;
•
Boundaries and values are protective: prioritizing
family time, saying no, and resisting comparison were recurring coping
approaches.
Panelists’ experiences and
recommendations point to the same goal: make family life less of a private
obstacle course and more of a responsibility shared by institutions.
For campus and community
resources, visit the Family
Resources website
