ESF Academics Open Up About Balancing Career and Family

 

Faculty, researchers, and graduate students share candid stories about childcare costs, dual-career challenges, and the strategies that help

Conversations about academic careers usually highlight publications, grants, and professional milestones. At a recent panel hosted by the ESF Women’s Caucus and Graduate Student Association, the focus shifted to the personal realities omitted from CVs: caregiving responsibilities and structural gaps in balancing work and family life.

Moderated by undergraduate student Bella Francisco (Biotechnology ’26), the conversation moved through childcare availability and cost, neurodiversity and disability-related needs, dual-career households, care of older family members, geographic distance from family, and pressures tied to soft-money positions and tenure timelines. Panelists PhD candidate Chloe Beaupre, Research Scientist Dr. Mark Eisenbies, Professor Emeritus Dr. Tom Horton, Associate Professor Dr. Brian Leydet, and Assistant Professor Dr. Danielle Kloster revealed less a checklist of “tips” than a portrait of how academic work bends around family life, and how often families are left to solve systemic problems on their own.

Childcare quickly emerged as a theme: finding, affording, and holding on

 “It is extremely difficult to find childcare in the Syracuse area—and everywhere” summarized Dr. Kloster.   Spaces for healthy children, with no or accessible intervention needs are limited community-wide, let alone those for kiddos with more complex health concerns.  Spots for infants are particularly scarce; preschool seats are more available, but the hours don’t always match student and faculty parents class, lab, and studio schedules.  And there is a hefty price-tag.

Chloe Beaupre: “We’ve been on a waitlist for childcare subsidies… We’re just bleeding money. And that’s a huge barrier.”

Dr. Leydet: “I don’t make enough to pay for daycare… my wife decided to stay home because it was the fiscally right thing to do—and it was completely incorrect for her career.” 

Unpredictability of foster placements compounds the already difficult task of securing childcare on short notice. Kloster: “With foster care, … you usually get a few hours’ notice, so it’s scrambling to try to find an open spot. I’ve called 20-plus daycares trying to get them a spot.…We’ve been pretty lucky that we [now] have really good, consistent daycare. But when the kids are sick, it does become a big mental load to figure out who it’s most appropriate to stay home in any given scenario.”

Care that is reliable and close to campus makes a world of difference. The short distance to Beaupre’s provider allowed her to nurse during a period when her infant wouldn’t take a bottle.  Now over that hurdle, she can focus on work knowing her child is in good hands.

For Horton, early childcare required logistics and improvisation. He described the careful teaching schedules he and Dr. Annette Krezner coordinated to pass their oldest child back and forth. He recalled learning years later that drop-off was harder and more stigmatized for Krezner than he realized at the time: their daughter cried far more when Krezner left.

Dual-Career Households and Geographic Isolation

Dr. Eisenbies reflected on how hard it can be to place two PhDs in the same region. He recalled accepting a prior position partly because there was also a role for his statistician wife—an offer that ultimately fell through, leading to the realization that: “If there’s not a job here for my wife, there’s not a job here for me.”

Leydet, who has no nearby family, described the toll of geographic isolation. He and his wife had their first date in two and a half years only recently, when his mother visited.  “I really wish I would have been closer to family. I think that would have been a lifesaver.”

Distance can also complicate care of older family members that require sudden, and sometimes ongoing care. Several panelists chose ESF to be closer to aging parents or injured in-laws after extended periods of frequent long drives to provide assistance.

Timing isn’t everything

Panelists pushed back on the trope that there is a single “right” time to have children. Carefully made plans can be upended by difficulty conceiving or carrying, an early arrival, or unexpected temporary or long-term care needs of those children, parents, or partners.

Kloster shared the mindset that has helped her stay grounded while raising young children and building toward tenure.  “I don’t want to waste my kid’s childhood working all the time, and I don’t want to waste my job stressing about it all the time. I want to enjoy it while I’m doing it.”

Beaupre pointed to what she sees as a toxic culture in academia around family, criticizing the practice of dedicating dissertations to children with apologies for missed bedtimes.  “This culture of treating academia like it’s just all that matters, and it should be all consuming, is so toxic. It’s a job. We have lives outside of it, and we do our jobs better when we can have that balance.”

Leydet cautioned against comparing productivity with colleagues, noting that he has witnessed this practice—even in formal tenure processes—and that it does particular harm to parents.  “Not comparing myself to others is really, really important, because everybody’s situation is different. No one is in your situation—don’t compare yourself to anybody else. Do what feels right, and keep moving forward.”

External support can be another lifeline. Horton described an NSF grant Kretzer secured that was structured to help trailing spouses find employment, calling it a model worth revisiting.  “You can apply for money—if you work it and shop around, find out who’s doing that kind of thing—and then use that as a leverage point with universities.”

Kretzer’s old friend was a critical source of support for Horton and Kretzer as her health declined.  Kristin visited weekly, and actively aided in increasingly physically and emotionally demanding care.

Beaupre credited new friends, in the form of on-campus groups (ESF Women’s Caucus and FamilyResources), for connecting her to daycare, and ongoing conversations.

What Works: Mentorship, Clear Expectations, and Communication

Kloster credited clear promotion and tenure expectations as a key source of stability.  “I know exactly how many papers I need to publish, how much grant money I need…  And that helps me to shut off at the end of the day.”

She also shared advice that resonated with her “to enjoy the work rather than dread the process.” She credited senior faculty not only with advising junior colleagues to avoid excessive service obligations, but also with stepping up to actively fill those roles.

Leydet advised junior colleagues to seek out mentors who have navigated parenthood in academia, rather than those who have not. “Mentorship was very important—identifying faculty members who had gone through what I wanted to go through and taking their advice. I still am at their doors every day, even as a tenured faculty member, seeking their advice as their children grow.”  Not all colleagues were helpful warned  Horton: “There were certain faculty that we learned were toxic themselves. And they would say things, and you just have to ignore it.”

Horton emphasized the importance of not waiting for a crisis to communicate openly with supervisors.  “You do not need to carry the burden of your job when major life issues like this are happening. They will at least give you the space to take care of it.”

Advice for Those in the “Hard Season”

Panelists offered encouragement to those simultaneously navigating the most demanding phases of academic life and early parenthood. “No one is in your situation,” said Leydet, urging “Don’t compare [yourself] to anybody else. Do what feels right and move that forward.”

Kloster reflected on setting boundaries.  “Something I’m working on is saying no more. It’s really hard right now, but it’s also the best job in the world, and there’s nothing else I’d rather be doing.”

Eisenbies, reflecting on what has sustained his marriage through years of uncertainty, focused on partnership.   “I just hope whoever’s listening that they meet somebody who has shared values with you. Every argument that we have ends with ‘I love you,’ even when we’re still annoyed with each other.”

Recommendations for the Academy

Beaupre offered concrete suggestions for institutional improvement: “Spring break at the university should match spring break in the school district….[More] grants should be able to have extensions [for family leave].”

Caregiver funding available to pre-tenure faculty attending conferences is not currently accessible to graduate students (or postdocs), a gap Beaupre described as inequitable given that graduate researchers are often at the prime age for starting families. 

In a nutshell:

•                     Childcare is the central constraint: availability and affordability drive daily logistics, career decisions, and stress.

•                     Support networks matter: being far from family amplifies challenges, especially with health and neurodiversity-related care needs.  Friends and community—including workplaces-- can be lifelines.

•                     Career structures can help or hurt: clear tenure/P&T expectations, travel support, mentoring, and funding flexibility reduce uncertainty; soft-money roles add instability;

•                     Boundaries and values are protective: prioritizing family time, saying no, and resisting comparison were recurring coping approaches.

Panelists’ experiences and recommendations point to the same goal: make family life less of a private obstacle course and more of a responsibility shared by institutions.

For campus and community resources, visit the Family Resources website